The Beauty In Vulnerability by vanessa acosta

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Not many know this, but back when I was in design school I was a blogger. I used to write about fashion, my life and my travels. It garnered enough attention that if I had stuck with it all those years ago, I would probably be one of those influencers we all know today. I outgrew it but I always missed the writing. I'm the journal type of gal, I would write about my days every night just so I could look back and remember who I was on that day. Feeling nostalgic is one of my favorite feelings in the world so I often plant seeds to remember things down the line. 

As I write this new blog entry, I know next year I'll look back at this post and remember who I was at this moment. What was going on in my life? How I was doing? What will stick? What will be important enough for me to remember on this day? Well, I am currently regaining my confidence from those post break up blues. During this time I started to question my self worth with a wounded heart coupled with that newly single life adjustment. I had to rediscover a life I once comfortably lived. I had this life again where I didn't have a food buddy, I had a bed that wasn't shared. All those small things were lost and I had to relearn and be ok with going to sleep alone, ordering food for one, adventuring the city by myself, sharing my exciting news with friends rather than a lover. And as the weeks went by I started to laugh again, I would lounge at cafes alone, I began to love myself in my own eyes rather than the perspective of my partners eyes. it's been two months and I'm still alone but the difference is I am embracing the lone adventures. I'm not viewing it as a negative thing which is something I tend to do. The life I am leading has a badass brown Latina as the lead woman, me! And that's what will stick. The moment in time where I found myself again, I found that confident Vanessa who loved everything about herself and didn't let rejection deter her from still dreaming.

As I carried on with my life these past two months as a newly single woman I didn't stop from photographing women. And in these two months I've shot multiple women that have been healing as well from broken hearts, healing hearts, from wounded hearts. I wasn't alone, that common ground bonded us as we walked around gardens. It's been a journey for all of us and that bond formed from commonality showed me that being vulnerable is ok. Showing that raw side of yourself to a stranger is powerful. After taking these images of powerful single women, I realized that we don't need our counterparts to reassure us of our power, we had it in us the entire time. I'm in one of those inspiring moods and it has to do with the recent fire that has been relit in me. I'm me again and I will continue to rise up and create beautiful art with beautiful strong women. Stay tuned, too many good things coming. 

Written by: Vanessa Acosta

Shy Girl Club by vanessa acosta

I decided to add a blog portion to my newly built website. Just so you can take a look inside a photographers life and get to know me on a personal level.

More often than not I am hidden behind the lens. As I evolve as a photographer and grow as an individual, I've begun to develop this over critical mentality of myself when my photos are taken. It's a bad habit to pick up, as a photographer you know exactly how a person should pose, look, stand, smile. BUT when it comes to me, I freeze. I get camera shy! I've spoken to other photographers as well and this is a thing. Not for all photographers, but many can sympathize with this new found shyness. The strange thing for me is that I used to not be this shy, I was always getting my picture taken, I LOVED getting my picture taken. But here we are, years down the line and a collection of photos featuring me as the focal point that don't meet my standards. I think becoming a photographer made my standards higher. I also want to feel confident with the person who is taking my images. These are all reasonable thoughts to have when someone is pointing a camera in your face!

When someone isn't comfortable in front of the camera, it shows. The ability to make the subject comfortable and confident is a hard thing to achieve, especially when someone is self conscious about themselves. I've noticed that the only pictures I love of myself are the candid ones that were shot by close friends of mine. I was myself with them. It wasn't forced, it was a safe space, it was fun. So to my subjects that I photograph, I can sympathize as well. I too have my moments where I am awkward in front of the camera, or don't like how I look at the moment. But the purest moments are captured with souls you connect with. And that is what I strive to hold and capture with my clients, I get to know them as we progress with the photoshoot, I ask questions, I am interested in what you do, being a model isn't a requirement to achieving a beautiful photo of showing your truest self. There's nothing more fun than having a shoot with a laid back gal who just wants to get cute shots of another human being. The end results are magical. And as I experience the awkward stage of my confidence, I can level with my clients and we can grow together as we evolve into strong, confident women! Girls making magic happen together.

Written by: Vanessa Acosta

Written by: Vanessa Acosta